Below are some sites I came across and their linked article. I don't like that I am back in the saddle of this dating game, and sadly I feel that is what this is...a game. I either need to learn how to play it or get off the boat. There is so much for one to learn in this dating and pursuing someone to have in your life. It doesn't make it easy when I am uncertain of what to do, and concerned I am going to do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing. I want to come off as cool and aloof, and avoid coming across as needy or desperate. Where is the balance to make sure these men can see me as who I am? I find when I am not interested I am a little more relaxed and more myself. When I am attracted or interested I get nervous and more cautious about what I should say.
Recently, one of the men I found online called me. He was pleasant to speak to, however, I was surprised by how quick he was to dive into telling me about his court and lawyer issues. He also went into great detail about his anger issues and how his ex-girlfriend has the knack to bring them out in him. At this point I don't know what to quite say to him, and I definitely don't think this is what he needs to be sharing with me this early in getting to know one another. I just tried to be a listening ear. This guy is a truck driver and he was driving while talking to me. About three different times he lost signal and our call was dropped. Each time I tried to text him to let him know it was late and I needed to go to bed. But, each time I was interrupted with him calling me back and that lead us to talking for another 10 or so minutes. Finally, he asked about how tired I was and let me go. Nice guy, but he does reside in Nevada so the distance already is substantial between us. While it was nice to have someone new to talk to, he needs to sort his stuff out before he needs a relationship.
At least now I know, even though he is attractive, he may not be the best match for me. Onward to the next...time will tell who will come along next. Its going to be a long, windy and not very enjoyable road.
http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/7-tips-online-dating
7 Tips for Online Dating
Online dating sites see a big surge of new members signing up at the beginning of the year. Whether you vowed to make love a priority in 2013 or your relationship ran its course over the holidays, you’ll be in fine company with other singles looking for love online this year.
Gone are the days where only tech enthusiasts and socially challenged singles were hanging their digital hats on dating sites. Celebrities are creating online dating profiles and children are now signing up their parents for Internet dating. If your friends are no longer setting you up, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 102 million singles in the United States. Over 40 million singles in the U.S. have tried online dating to find a love connection. The numbers are staggering!
RELATED: New to online dating? Here's what you need to know about the most popular sites.
So without further digital ado, here are seven dating tips to help you find love online in 2013:
1. Be authentic: Post some of your favorite photos from Facebook to your online dating profile. (Check out these tips for taking a perfect pic every time). Dating sites now make it easy to link to your Facebook account to grab recent pictures. Discard any photos that are over two years old and please don’t lie about your weight, height, and age. Seeing a frown on your date’s face if he or she doesn't recognize you when you arrive isn’t a good experience for either of you.
2. Be specific: General profiles all tend to blend together and can be viewed as boring or too typical. Make your profile shine by being specific about what you’re looking for. Think about listing the song you like to sing in the shower, talk about a proud moment in your life, and allow your date to know what their life could be like if they had the opportunity to spend it with you.
3. Avoid clichés and emoticons: How many times have you seen a profile that says he’s looking for a drama-free woman or that she likes romantic beach walks, traveling, and wants a financially secure man? These terms have been overused and should be deleted from your profile. Don’t use the happy face or multiple exclamation points in your correspondence. You aren’t on familiar terms yet.
4. Refresh your profile: Are you excited about your upcoming trip to Mexico? If so, post it in your profile. Do you have tickets for a basketball game? Let your potential date know and you might be cheering on your favorite team together.
5. Respond quickly: If your dream date is writing to you, he or she is probably writing to many others. Playing the waiting game is so last decade. By the time you write back to him or her, you may be told that they’ve met someone they’ve decided to date exclusively. Don’t cry over digital spilled milk.
6. Proofread everything: We’ve all been burned by auto-correct when we’ve sent emails. Use spell check and grammar check for your profile and emails. First impressions are everything. You may have a high IQ, but your date won’t believe you if your emails are riddled with spelling errors.
7. Log on daily: Even if you haven’t received an email from a potential suitor, don’t sit around waiting. When you log on frequently, those considering writing to you will see that you’re an active member. He or she will know that dating is high on your priority list and will think they’ll have a better chance at receiving a response.
At the end of the digital day, online dating is a numbers game. You need to play to win.
http://www.thelovequeen.com/how-to-create-the-best-online-dating-profile/
How to create a winning online dating profile
If you still think online dating carries a stigma, get your head out of the 1990s! Online dating is now the easiest way to meet people. But to make dating websites work for you, it’s best to put some thought into your profile. Here are my top tips that will help you create the best online dating profile. I’ll also give you loads of great tips on how to choose the best photos to get the highest responses!
DO choose an attractive photo of yourself for your profile
Dating profile photos are a separate category from most other photos. It might seem easiest to use a photo you already have, but stop and think about the message this photo will send within the context of a dating website. The headshot you use for business purposes is probably a bit too posed and/or stuffy-looking for purposes of attracting dates. The photo you post on your Facebook wall of you and your friends grinning and wasted on your last vacation might mislead someone who doesn’t know into thinking you’re an alcoholic. If you plan to take your own picture, use your phone, not the camera on your computer—those kind of shots tend to be disastrous.Ideally, a dating website photo should indicate that you are friendly—so choose a picture where you wear your normal smile. It’s also a good idea to have at least two photos, one of which is a full body shot. Don’t overdo it on the sexy factor here—when I say full body shot, I’m not talking about a centerfold image. Studies show that for men, it’s often best to choose a pic which shows you doing something semi-active like playing with your dog or hiking with your friends. For some reason, indoor shots of women seem to be more popular with men on dating sites.
On the other hand men who post pictures of themselves doing only sporty stuff often get a lower response rate, so guys don’t overdo it here!
Tip: More is better!
Studies have shown that people who upload more than 4 profile pics get a lot higher response rate so put lots of pics in
Tip: Don’t include photos with the opposite sex (or same sex if you are gay!)
People universally don’t like to see this so avoid any snaps with you and your friends of the opposite sex.
Tip: Just have yourself in your main picture
Sometimes people put shots of them and their friends and its not obvious which person is the dater in question, so make sure its just you in your cover photo. BUT research shows that women don’t like selfies done by men, so guys get your friend to take your photo! Don’t think you can crop your friend or ex out of a photo, people guess that you have done this when you post a thin picture and they don’t like it!
DO display your personality
Even if you didn’t win the genetic lottery, online dating gives you an opportunity to showcase your great personality. Answer the dating site’s profile questions in a way which lets people see how interesting you are. Have a short, witty answer for one of the dating site’s standard silly questions. Talk (without becoming verbose) about what interests you.DO be honest in your online dating profile
Lying is never the basis for a good relationship. Do not pretend you are single if you are still getting a divorce. Do not pretend you’re a Fortune 500 CEO if you actually work in a call center. Don’t claim that you have an average body type if the clothes you buy all carry the tag “XL.” Don’t say you are 30 if you are really 50 (no matter how sure you are that you really look 30).The no lying rule extends to photos as well—using a picture that shows you as you looked 10 years ago or 30 pounds ago may get you more initial online responses. But it will only make your first in-person meeting with a potential date extremely awkward. And do you really want someone who only wants a thinner/younger/richer version of you, anyhow?
DON’T bore them before you even meet them
You wouldn’t walk up to a cutie you see at a party and start telling him or her your life story, would you? So don’t do that online. Avoid writing long essays in your dating profile about your life history, your taste in music, films and television, your political beliefs, or anything else for that matter. Keep your descriptions of yourself and the type of person you’re looking for short and sweet. Give enough information to give people an idea of who you are—but don’t go into long, boring detail. Entice potential dates with a few intriguing facts about yourself, but leave a bit of mystery.Studies have shown that people who write less get more responses, and my friend Joe even went as far as to just put a picture his dog and almost no other info and got loads of responses! You can watch a great and funny video that I recommend with some of the secrets to “hacking” online dating at Ted Talks.
Spelling and grammars important so do spell check and read over your profile before you put it live on your chosen dating site.
So what should you write about?
Exercise, reading and music tend to increase the response rate of online dating profiles so if you are interested in these things then put it down with maybe one or examples of what you like (but if you are into something very gender specific like romance novels or train spotting or something then leave it out!)DON’T highlight your baggage
This is really important but is a mistake that many people make. Most people old enough to date online have been hurt more than once. However, making your pain, bitterness and resentment the centerpiece of your profile won’t help you attract Mr. or Ms. Right.Avoid talking about how you’re the “nice guy who always gets put in the friend zone” or advertising that you’re looking for someone who “isn’t a liar like my last boyfriend.”
We get it. You were rejected and/or betrayed. It hurt. But showing someone your emotional bruises is never a good way to start an initial conversation. Later on, if you find someone, you can play the couples’ game of “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” if you want. As part of your profile however, this sort of information is the equivalent of walking up to a hottie at a bar and shouting angrily in his/her face or sitting there crying in your drink. Not attractive.
Best Online Dating Profile Tips Conclusion
So to sum up, keep those profiles short positive and witty, put up lots of great pics of yourself and you should start getting lots of responses and dates!Kisses
http://www.thelovequeen.com/how-to-date-online-successfully/
How to Date Online Successfully
A lot of my single friends moan to me about how hard it is to date online. I can’t help but notice, though, that I hear very different complaints from men than from women (at least the straight ones—my gay friends are another matter).
Men looking to meet women online often tell me they feel frustrated because women don’t write back to them. Women, on the other hand, tell me they get quantity rather than quality in terms of men writing to them. It doesn’t take a genius or The Love Queen to deduce that these two problems are related. As someone with a bit of insight into both sides’ concerns, here is my advice.
Scroll down for the dating advice for all you ladies!
Visit Match.com now to meet singles in your area
How to date online – Advice for Men
Men: Look for similaritiesMany men make the mistake of writing to a woman they’ve seen on an online dating site, solely on the basis of her photo and geographic proximity. But selecting the hottest babe in your zip code isn’t the best formula for getting you dates. I’m not suggesting you choose someone you don’t find attractive—instead, choose attractive women with whom you seem to have something in common.
What to write in your first message
You are almost guaranteed to fail if you write to a woman on a dating site telling her “You are gorgeous/sexy/hot.” Sorry to break it to you, but this kind of e-mail makes you seem generic and boring. Most reasonably attractive women with online dating profiles receive dozens of those kind of responses per week—in some cases, dozens per day. Your compliment won’t stand out from all the other responses in her inbox. She’ll be bored–not because she’s vain, but because you haven’t said anything to convince her the two of you belong together.However, if you choose to write to women who share your interests, you gain many opportunities for intriguing opening lines. Set your search parameters to find a woman who enjoys the same authors, TV shows, movies or hobbies as you. Then write her with an intelligent observation—something along the lines of “I love author X’s books, too. Which one is your favorite?” Or if both of your profiles reveal a love of hiking, share a short anecdote about your favorite trail, then ask about her recent experiences in the great outdoors. If she writes in her profile that she is studying a foreign tongue you happen to speak, open your first email to her by saying in that language “How was your day?”
Sometimes it’s necessary to do a bit of tweaking your profile to make this work. If a gorgeous woman in your area writes in her profile that she loves science fiction, go back and amend your profile to include our favorite sci-fi books or movies. I definitely don’t advocate dishonesty here—if you hate sci-fi and her profile doesn’t reveal any other common ground with you, simply move on. You’re better off approaching another woman who does share your enthusiasm for surfing or Italian food or country music. Remember, there’s no such thing as an abstract “perfect woman.” But there is a woman who may be perfect for you (either long-term or short-term). The secret to finding that perfection is by emphasizing similar beliefs and interests.
How to Date online: Advice for Women
Women: Learn the art of weeding outWomen are often encouraged from childhood onward to be as likable as possible. We learn at our mothers’ knees to please others. This can actually work against us when placing an online profile. I tell all my single girlfriends who are looking for a man online and frustrated with wading through boringly similar (or offensively forward) responses: don’t be too likeable.
To find someone who clicks with you, someone who will like you for more than your cute smile and killer bod, talk about some of your personal quirks. A man who is naïve and immature enough to want the “ideal woman” is less likely to waste your time if you reveal in your profile one or two of the things that make you a specialized, rather than a mass-market, girlfriend. State up front, for instance, that you hate football. Or write about how much you dislike cooking. You don’t have to write a book about your little oddities and preferences—just a few succinct lines, couched in a humorous tone. The result will be fewer men writing you, but those responses you receive will be from men more likely to appreciate you for who you are, not someone seeking to project some adolescent dream girl image onto you.
Men and Women: Final Online Dating Advice
Be unique but don’t be weird! My friend tried talking to a guy online who within minutes was asking her really personal questions and things like ‘what do you miss most about not being in a relationship? for me its cuddles.’ This might sound really cute and it would be once you have created some intimacy but its not a good starter as it makes you seem intense and maybe a stalker!Conversely a male friend of mine was asked to read a specific book and tell her his opinion of it. He googled it and read the synopsis and realised it was about a man who was always horrible to women but got his comeuppance in the end. So it was a not very hidden attempt to see if he is a good guy or not, but its way too obvious, and is actually a way to attract abusers unfortunately since they will spot you as someone vulnerable. A nice twist on this could just be to ask a guy to read a book you really like, but make sure you choose the book carefully as your taste will reveal a lot about you!
If you feel nervous when chatting online to potential dates, why not get a friend round to help you with what to say, another’s perspective can be great but choose the right friend for the job.
Read this if you want to know more about how to fill in the best online dating profile.
Dont forget to stay safe!
Kisses
The Love Queen!
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Tips-for-Successful-Online-Dating
Tips for Successful Online Dating
The Profile The key to successful dating online is a well-written user profile. A profile is the unique, customizable area on an online dating site that contains biographical information about yourself, as well as photographs and details about what you're looking for in a potential mate.
"A lot of people get really intimidated by the profile process," says Whitney Casey, relationship insider for Match.com. "But when you think about it, when you go out, you get only one chance to make a great first impression. With a profile, you get as many as you want."
Casey suggests new users break down their profile in to four parts—the picture, the headline, the username and the paragraph. Gather a group of friends to help you out, and go step-by-step. "Your friends are going to keep you honest," she says. "Plus, they'll make sure you use the best picture of yourself."
The Picture
- Stay recent and real, Casey says. All pictures should be taken within the last six months and feature a head shot, as well as a full body shot. "Putting up pictures that represent what you look like means you don't have to worry later, if he or she doesn't call you to go out again, that it's because of how you look," Allison says. "Be honest about who you are."
- Avoid pictures of yourself with either too many props or too many other people. "Find a happy
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