LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 120...Attitude

What is your attitude?  I can promise you I am not 100% with my attitude, however, I do try to be aware of those days when I am not my best.
One thing I do try to do is be gracious and maintain an attitude of gratitude.  I am blessed, I am incredibly fortunate with so many blessings.  While my life is not perfect, and it is far from where I long to be in life, there are blessings.  Don't get me wrong, I don't go around pretending that everything is perfect and dandy.  However, I try to be positive about people and things.  When I hit a red light, I actually give thanks, because maybe God just saved me from a car accident?  When I get good traffic, have a good meal, I am blessed to buy groceries, I am most certainly thankful.  It is not uncommon to see me give a point upward to the sky when something good occurs.
When you go to bed tonight, wander a store, sitting in traffic, give thanks.  It may take a while to develop this habit, however, you may amaze yourself at all the wonderful things in your life which deserve a simple 'thanks'.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 119...Today

Have you ever stopped long enough to realize that a lot of our own anxiety is caused by trying to mentally and emotionally get into our future?  To step into things that are not here yet or have already passed?
Take the time to enjoy life today, right now.  Lighten up and enjoy your life!  Try not to worry about the past or your future.  Yes, we need to maintain our responsibilities, however, that doesn't mean we need to be so focused on what is to come or what has past that we forget to enjoy ourselves and those around us.
Life is stressful enough.  We don't need to overload ourselves with more stress and concerns of things we cannot control.  I speak from experience as I am quick as anyone else to reflect on the past.  I am no stranger to wishing and dreaming about the future to a point where today has passed me by.
Currently I am waiting for something/someone to come into my life.  I am curious to see where this particular life event may occur, how it will occur, IF it will occur at all.  Where I stay plenty busy with life and everything I am trying to accomplish and do, I continue to find myself creating concern and lost in thought about my future.
I wish I had a magical formula to share about how to be more in the moment.  Hopefully just knowing you are not alone can offer some sort of reassurance to you.  Until that day comes to pass, whether it is a graduation, a concert, a ceremony, try to remember to find yourself living in today, not just tomorrow.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 118...Be Content

Isn't it interesting how in life we long for that next step?  I am most certainly front and center guilty as can be of that statement.  Sometimes a spiritual growth can be similar to a physical growth.  Are you one of those parents who forget to enjoy your children while raising them?  Are you wishing they were older or in another state?  Maybe you wish your child was out of diapers, walking instead of crawling, leaving for college?  Whatever it may be, stop!
What about your career?  Are you wishing you had that promotion or new position already?
The examples could go on and on and on.  We need to stop and take in our life where we are currently right now.  Where I do wish I was owning my own home, gardening on my own property, I am not there yet.  Like many others I am losing sight of what is in front of me.  With being so focuses on the future, am I putting myself in a position of not fully enjoying where I am right now?
No, life is not great for me right now.  However, I am blessed and have many things to give thanks for in my life.
Do yourself a favor, step back and enjoy where you are right now.  Find five things to be thankful for in life today.  As I have mentioned I am just as guilty of this as anyone else. Yet, I think I will regret not fully investing myself into today, tomorrow and this week.  Considering it is already April, and I swear yesterday was March, time is not slowing down.  That next stage in our lives will come soon enough, even if it may not seem like it.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 117...The Sound of Rain

"Well, I love a rainy night
I love a rainy night
I love to hear the thunder
Watch the lightning
When it lights up the sky
You know it makes me feel good"

Ahhhh....Eddy Rabbit.  I have always loved that song.  Along with that song I have always loved a rainy, stormy night.  It took me a while to get to that place.  I recall being scared of storms when I was a kid.  My Mom would try to reassure me about the thunder by explaining it was God moving furniture.  I would ask her to tell Him to stop.  I would also wonder, if He was the all and powerful God, why couldn't he use his powers to move his furniture more efficiently?

 Being older, there is nothing more I love than sleeping to it storming outside.  I adore and crave those Sunday's when it is storming and I can cuddle up on the couch and take it all in while wrapped in a blanket.  I absolutely love the ocean, rivers, lakes, waterfalls.  I am one of those positive ion people and it energizes and relaxes me.
One of the most impressive storms I have ever experienced was when I was hiking with a friend out west.  We hit storms a couple of times, and thankfully were kept safe during their raging lighting and practically flash flood downpours.  Yet, the entire time I was soaking it in.
What energizes you?  What do you crave?  What brings you to life?  Have you ever taken a moment when it hits you to step back and just enjoy it?  If not, then I request to you to slow down.  In this rat race we call life, we need to embellish ourselves and enjoy those moments in life.  Because at the end of the day we deserve it.  There is more to life than work.  Take it from me, a workaholic.  Learn from my painful life lessons of realizing that there is more to life than work, and we ALL deserve to take a break, and enjoy life's simple pleasures.  Whether a sunset, sunrise or a storm filled with deep baritone thunder and flashes of lightning.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 116...The Personality of Your Home

Our home are usually a realistic expression of our life.  Where we have been, or where we are going, the chaos that surrounds us.  The thing about it is, we express our lives in our home whether we like it or not.
We can say how if we had more money we would redecorate or remodel.  Yet, the reality is, we can find a way to make our home into what we desire by how we care for it, decorate it, pick up after it.  These things can seem daunting and overwhelming.  A friend has discovered her and her husband need to sell their home.  She is in the process of packing.  Nightly I receive text message photos of a room she has been slowly packing.  There are items spread all over the place and traditionally the message states, "there is so much stuff that I just sit here because I am too overwhelmed to do anything".
I cannot say I am this perfectly orderly individual.  I do long for the day when I own my own home and I can find a place for everything, and put everything in its place.  However, at this point and time in my life, that day is a ways off.  However, why live in a home that is suppose to be your comfort zone, your safe haven, in disarray or set up in a manner which is not meeting your desires?  There are endless tv shows and youtube videos which show you ways to remodel and redecorate on a budget.  Yes, there are the bigger jobs which you should probably get a contractor.  But, until that day when the money is saved up, why wait?  You deserve to come home and be greeted by gladness and rejoice in the effort to reshape the personality of your home.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 115...Our Hectic World

Do you have a haven in your hectic world?  In the nineteenth century the home was considered 'heaven on earth'.  Think about your grandparents home, what was it like to you?  I know my grandparents home had a particular smell, a level of comfort, a peace and it was one of my most favorite places to be.  My grandparents lived in the house my Mom and her siblings were raised in.  I loved going upstairs to see my Aunts bedroom.  She had horse statues in her room from when she lived there.  As someone who was a horse crazy child, it brought me great happiness to see these beautiful statues.  The bathroom was HUGE!  At least it was to me as a child.  I loved and absolutely adored sitting in this gigantic room in their huge window and looking out on their farm.  I really loved their clawfoot bathtub and dreamed of being able to take a bath in it.  (I never got to, and if I did, I was too little to remember).
What about your home?  In this hectic world we live in we need to have a place where we can decompress from our day.  Find a way to make your home, or maybe just a room in your home, where you can escape.  Home is where the heart is, and your heart deserves to have a quiet place to serve as your haven.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...114...Maintaining the Spirit

Whether you believe in a higher power or not, I believe majority of us believes in something.
I do believe in God, and I believe He is great!  I am very thankful for the gifts in which have been brought to my life, the opportunities all because of Him.
Yet, it is when we are down and out is when we need to do our best to give thanks, to seek joy.  How does one find happiness when we are miserable?  It is not easy.  That is when the little things are more important than ever.  Maybe you have a pet, and that animal offers those moments during the day when they are silly or make you laugh?  My roommate has a cat and I call him, Mister Fuzzy Boots.  This cat is a goofy ass cat, and he will do random things that make you laugh and shake your head.  I have chickens and I find it amazing how they can make me laugh even on my most depressed and sad day.
Maybe you have a favorite coffee mug, sweater, hobby or photo?  Whatever it is that brings you joy, I encourage you to maintain a spirit of joy within you.  This is not always easy, not with how life can not just hand us lemons, but it can turn us from joyful to depressed in .05 seconds.
That is why having a spirit of joy, gratitude and thankfulness in your heart is important.  If you do believe in God or a higher spirit, don't just thank that higher power during times of joy.  It is during those times of sorrow and sadness we need to remember we are blessed and have many things to give thanks and sincerely recall the gratitude in our lives for the many gifts which have been blessed upon us.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 113...Reach Out & Touch Someone

This was once upon a time a saying for a phone company.  With today's technology it is amazing how we are more connected, and yet more disconnected than ever before.  I had a Pastor say this to me three or so years ago.  He was more right then and even more right now.
What is wrong with us?  We invest all this money into our cell phones, fancy cases, and yet we cannot pick up that device and actually call someone.  Don't get me wrong, I love text messages and recently been introduced to a messaging system called; KIK.  I don't check my voicemail and don't call people like I once did just a few years ago.  Unfortunately, for me being a secretary has given me a burn out on the phone.  I hate voicemail, but please realize I check my employers voicemail a minimum of fifteen to twenty times a day.  The last thing I want to do when I get done with work is check my own.
I will be quick to text someone back before I call them back.  Yet, I find enjoyment in phone calls, and with my friends so far away I enjoy talking to them.  Life is busy, life is hectic and I have found even my friends don't have the time to take my calls when I finally get around to making them.

What is happening to our society?  When will we realize what is going on around us and make a change?  What will be that breaking point when it finally hits everyone what is being lost?
Ask yourself when was the last time you called someone you cared about?  Whether that be a parent, a child or a dear friend.  Maybe find the time this week to stop, pick up the phone and instead of texting or e-mailing, call and have a actual conversation.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 112...Taste for Living

Did you know our taste buds wear out and regenerate every ten days?  Our taste sensors located in the mouth, primarily on the tongue, but also on the palate, pharynx and tonsils.
Today, I encourage you to take the time to explore a way to increase your capacity for pleasure in your taste for life.  First begin to seek out something unusual, maybe check out ethnic grocery stores?  Be open and curious, there is so much out there in our world that is waiting to be discovered.  Begin by preparing something different for dinner this week.

Then take a step to clean out your spice cabinet.  Variety is the spice of life, and fresh spices provide our sense of taste with variety.  We often let our spices go years, yes, years without being replaced.  You deserve to cook with fresh spices and flavors.  Maybe you keep these items so you won't be caught short.  Maybe you don't cook often enough to go through a container and therefore, they sit year after year.  You owe it to yourself and those who you love to cook with fresh ingredients.  Maybe it will take a few extra moments to prepare a meal.  Yet, these meals are what nourishes your body.  You owe it to yourself, and your palate will thank you.

Go, seek, find, something that will reawaken your senses and taste for life and living.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 111...Sensory

Spring is everywhere, indications of flowers blooming.  There is something about this time of year.  The aroma of the air is clean.  You can smell the rain before and after it has stormed.  The aroma of blooming flowers.  There is something about it that cannot quite be compared to any other time of year.
What do you do to keep things fresh?  What do you do to awaken your senses?  Maybe potpourri in your home?  Or it could be as simple as opening the windows and letting in the fresh spring air.

Whatever it may be that you choose to do, take the steps to freshen your senses.  There is something to be said about taking the time to smell the roses.  However, you don't have to wait for summer blooms to enjoy the enhancement of seeking something which excites you, awakens you or inspires you to slow down for just a minute of your day.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 110...Hectic Living

Have you ever found yourself so wound up you cannot think straight?  Life offers us enough stress and strain we often do not need anything extra to add to our daily stress in life.  However, with the power of technology often we find ourselves combating "American nervousness".  This began to sweep our country when electronics began to find their place in our lives.  With the development of social media and cell phones we often find ourselves drawn to these items and a new level of stress.
Go out to dinner and actually put your cell phone down.  Now look around you.  It is amazing how many people are out to dinner with their "friends", "family" or on a "date" and yet their main focus is their phones.  It is an addiction in which is out of control.
I have a rule, no cell phones at meal time.  While I may bring it out to show photos, I do my very best to avoid text messages, e-mails and social media.  There are times in which I am in the middle of a conversation or something may be in the midst in which needs to be addressed.  I am not proud of these moments and work on them so they are fewer and far between.
In the past month I have backed off from Facebook.  I have to admit, this has been one of the most refreshing things I have done in a while.  The ridiculous complaining, posts, and unnecessary rants gets to be too much.
It took less effort than I expected to fall off the band wagon of Facebook.  Honestly, if it wasn't for my photography and a few friends in which that is the best way to stay in touch with them, I would probably close my account.
Take the time to evaluate how much time you spend on your cell phone and social media.  Get yourself off Facebook and actually put your face IN a book.  Maybe put the phone down from social media conversations and have a actual face to face conversation.
It is possible, however, the choice is yours.  What is important to you?  What do you value in your life?  A bunch of online posts...or true relationships developed with effort, kindness and consideration towards those who are important to you?

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 109...Being Without a Vehicle

Being in a situation which I am without a vehicle has been incredible stressful.  Thankfully I have a very understanding and giving friend who has been allowing me to borrow his vehicle.  There will never be anything I could ever possibly do to thank him and his wife for his graciousness.
For majority of my life I have had pride in being independent.  Finding myself in a position in which I have to rely on others at this level has been stressful and frustrating.  I hate it.  It pains me.
Even with the frustration I try to be gracious and thankful.  This entire situation has helped me push myself to the reality I cannot continue to work at my current job.  As much as I love and adore working with Theresa, being in this financial drought cannot continue if I want to make anything of my life.
Maybe this is a life lesson of some sort to give me that push I need.  It certainly has gotten me started in conversation with a manager of a company who has been trying to hire me for a while.  Maybe this turn of events will help me get on my feet and on my way to the life I desire?

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 108...Staying On Top of Goals

One thing about this goal of writing a "page a day" it has been more of a challenge than I expected.  It doesn't help that life seems to continue to offer its twists and turns.  I long for the day when my life offers a level of normalcy.  One where I am not trying to continue to strain just to be on top of things, a pay check coming in that can actually cover the bills, and my belongings are not stacked up in storage.  Just the reminder that my beautiful items are stuck in boxes in a storage unit cuts at my heart.
I want to be organized, free of clutter and hopefully as free of being overwhelmed as what can be expected in our life.  Days continue to fly by and before I know it a week, two weeks and a month has passed me by.
What do you desire to have in your life?  What expectation or goal do you have for yourself have you found may have slipped from your focus?  Whatever it may be, find a way to take the time to bring that goal into fruition.  It is not always easy and at times may not seem possible, however, if you have a goal, a dream, a desire, why put it off?  Life is not a dress rehearsal.  You won't get yesterday or today back.  There is a reason the saying goes, "don't put off tomorrow what you can do today".  It is about taking action and making things happen in your life.  No one will do it for you.  Our goals in our lives are our responsibilities.  Don't waste another day to put off tomorrow what should have been worked on today.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 107...Spring is Upon Us

The weather is changing and getting warmer and warmer.  It makes me wonder how hot this upcoming summer is going to be.  One thing that I do not enjoy is the heat in the south.  Even when I was in Wisconsin the hotter days were always a challenge for me.  For some reason I find it hard to breathe, but mostly I am uncomfortable like anyone else in the heat. 
Yet, spring is an incredible time of year, things are blossoming, rivers run high and birds seem elated to be free of the cold weather.  It is a rebirth, an awakening and an opportunity for people to shed the winter blahs and get themselves outside.
I challenge you to go out and seek something intriguing this spring.  Maybe a new hiking trail, a goal to take a walk during lunch at work.  Touch base with that New Years Resolution you have lost track of and revisit that goal.  It doesn't matter what you do, just seek the willingness to try something new.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 106...Not as I Planned

Ever set up a plan for yourself only to discover things are not going as expected?  This is my entire way of life right now.
I had a financial plan, a very specific financial plan to cover my bills and to get my truck fixed.  Then this morning while pulling in to feed my chickens my truck told me other plans were in wait for me.  The short version is, my truck began to slide in the wet grass.  Then once I got on the street I knew there was a very serious issue.  Turning suddenly became very difficult.  I called a friend and he asked me to come to his house so he could take a look at what was going on.  It was not but a few short minutes when we found the issue.  The u-joint in the front passenger axle broke.  It wore the hell out of my vehicle.  Praise God for keeping His hand on my vehicle and keeping me safe.

Now, the original plan to take some money from this weeks check and next weeks check to get the starter and battery replaced.  That has changed to getting this issue repaired so I can at least drive my vehicle.
I do believe God has a plan here, and I am trying to keep the faith.
On a high note of my day, I got to hear from Chad AND he contacted me first!  I was thrilled to hear from him and he was very chatty tonight - which I loved!!  Now to continue in the faith and hope for him to come visit me soon!

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 105...A Little Craft Project

As I have mentioned in previous posts there is someone I am interested in who I met online.  Where we still have not met, it has been three months since we began to talk.
Now, I don't know where this is going, but I am sincerely interested enough to find out.  This individual is a truck driver and I made him a little something to carry in his truck.  Maybe this will help him think about me...even though he has already admitted that he already does think about me.

My Mom taught me how to sew when I was a child.  Where I won't ever the be the seamstress she is, as she is one who was very talented in sewing, I do try to do my best.  I decided to make a pillow for this gentleman.  Not just any pillow, but a small throw pillow that has a frame on it where I could put a photo.  Along with the frame, I wanted to do a pocket on the backside where I could put little notes for him to read while he is on the road.  He is a rugged kind of guy (I mean...come on...he drives a semi...so he is definitely a man's man) so I didn't want it to be frilly.  I know he likes to hunt and he is an ex-Marine.  So, I wandered to Hobby Lobby and found some nice camo material, I already had the Marine material for a different project for him.  I picked up some trinket things to add as decoration.

I visualized how I wanted the end result for the pillow, layed out the material and then began to cut.  Once I had my material pieces cut how I needed them, I began to sew by hand the edges so I wouldn't be working with rough or raw edges.  I don't have a sewing machine, I knew going in this would all be done by hand.  I first did the frame by cutting the material, folding it, sewing it and flipping it outside in so the nice printed side was on the outside.  Then I pinned it together how I thought it should go together.  Once that was done I began to sew the actual pillow edges.  This gave me the idea of the size and I was able to pin and sew the frame and pocket onto the pillow.  Once that was complete I pinned it together so it would hold as I sewed the edges.  Once that was complete I flipped the outside to the inside so the pattern of the material (or what is called "the right side") was facing out.  Then the process of stuffing the pillow began which allowed me to make sure it wasn't a big stiff lump.  But, also not so limp it didn't hold its shape.  Once enough stuffing was in the pillow I began to sew the final edge shut.  I was pleasantly surprised by how well it turned out.  Since I'm a little girlie I took the trinkets and attached them to the pillow so they would hang decoratively.  There is a little cowboy hat, because we have talked about my experience riding horses and when I was in the rodeo as a Rodeo Queen.  A dog tag looking charm that is outlined with rhinestones and the letter "L" is stamped in it.  There is a small little item that has what looks like roadways on it, since he is on the road all the time kinda reflects a map.  There is also a funky looking key - to kinda symbolize the future of the unknown of where this is going for him and I.  Then finally there is a small little clock with two working clocks.  I set one clock to the central time zone where I live and one in the eastern time zone where he lives. 
I've mentioned, I don't know where this is going with him.  I'm fine with him on the road, not too crazy that we haven't met yet.  But, if we are meant to be, then that is part of a grander plan than what I can even imagine.  I just hope he likes it and doesn't think I'm weird for making it for him.

The thing took hours, primarily because I had to hand sew it.  I picked up the items for it on Friday and began working on it Saturday for a little bit.  Spent several hours on it Sunday and about five hours on it Monday night.  I really am please with how well it turned out.  Now to continue my 'lady in waiting' for mister truck driver to pull in so we can meet and I can give him his silly gift.

 Front view of the finished product

Little decorative trinkets; an "L" for the first letter of my name

The back view of the pillow - a small pocket that I made to hold little notes or letters

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 104...Disbelief

While chasing my dreams and goals I fulfil my financial responsibilities by working part time as a secretary for a psychiatrist.  This individual had two dogs, one male, one female, brother and sister.  Unfortunately, this person refuses to spay or neuter her dogs and guess what....they had puppies.
Seven, loud, smelly puppies.  The cuteness factor wore off about a month ago.

Finally she is selling these dogs.  I would rather see her give them away, however, she is a bit too greedy for that and she is selling them.  She sold one this weekend and another was sold this afternoon before I left work.  This doctor, highly trained, MD with 30 years of experience was basically having a melt down because she was sad to let these dogs go.  I kept cheering on the process and letting the new owners know even though the doctor was looking like she was going to have a mental break down, this was a good thing.

Finally I said to her, "I am proud of you, this is the right thing to do.  For you and these dogs so they can be enjoyed and loved".  Inside I am in disbelief at watching how she is struggling with letting them go.  She is probably one of the more selfish people I have ever met.  She is most certainly a hoarder and she collects things endlessly.  I wish she would get some psychological help herself, however, she lacks the ability to get up off her butt to see her own patients, she is not going to go and get help.  Weekly me and the Office Manager struggle to help boost her and offer her mini therapy sessions.  We are both sick of it and want to tell her, "get over it"  "let it go" regarding the different things that occur in her life.
While I am in disbelief at her behavior, I have to say no matter how rough my life has been and what I have been going through, I am blessed.  I am incredibly fortunate to have a clear psyche which helps me maintain logic and accept the things I cannot change and grow from my life experiences.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 103...Women and their Minds

I have come to the conclusion that a woman's mind is a lot like a chicken.
Leave it up to its own devises, her mind will get restless.  Then it will get busy and creative and always end up in trouble.

That is what has recently happened to me.  I have not heard from this guy I am interested in for over two weeks.  I was starting to think he forgot about me, maybe found someone else...my mind was quite busy trying to find ways to sabotage the situation.  Finally, my curiosity, like a cat got the best of me and I found myself on Facebook.  Now, he has told me that he does not have a Facebook page and while that could be possible, my mind had talked myself into "who doesn't have a Facebook page"???  Even though I know many people who do not.  I found who I thought was someone who could be related to him, so I went onward to my search assuming it was possibly a relative.  Then I found who I thought was him and I was sad, why would he start a Facebook page and not tell me?  I sent a friend request and let it go and went to church.  In church the more I thought about it I realized I needed to delete the request.  After church I went to do just that, but again talked myself out of it.  If he 'likes' me, why wouldn't he want to "Like" me on Facebook?
Well...I woke up this morning around 5 am bummed I still had not heard from him.  Now I was beginning to wonder if he got into a wreck.  Our relationship is completely based online and I am sensing some red flags, I feel he doesn't want to fully let me in (again the female mind at work).  I am working on a little project for him for me to give to him when we finally meet.  A little pillow, I thought he could keep in his truck.  While I am working away and messaging a friend my phone buzzes, it was him, "heard you found one of my brothers on Facebook"
"uh-oh"...so I was honest with him and explained how I thought it was him, he explained it was not.  He had been in Canada when he got a call from his brother wondering if he knew who I was and that I had tried to friend him on Facebook.  I sent him a screenshot of what I found and when he said he was not on Facebook I believed him and deleted the request.  Turns out he has been in Canada for the past two weeks.  He never told me he was going to leave the country for work.  That makes me a little sad, I keep hoping he gets assigned a load and comes to Nashville.  I would really like to meet this guy.  Not hearing from him got my female mind at work and I found myself in a 'busted' situation of cyber stalking.  Of course talking to any of my friends, we have all admitted to cyber stalking.  It is an easy way to find out about someone.

All seems to have been forgiven, and we have moved forward.  I am hoping things will progress to where I can finally meet him and spend some time with him in person instead of via the interwebs of the world.
Lesson learned...when your mind starts to get restless...stay off Facebook.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 102...Amazing Opportunity

Yesterday I began my new endeavor as an OFFICIAL WRITER!!!  I got up a little later than I meant to get up and began to get ready for my new job.  I had not been to the Tennessee Miller Colliseum aka TMC in years.  I couldn't even remember how to get there.  Pulling in between the two long rows of white fence it was coming back to me.  I found a place to park where I would be out of the way and began to walk around to get reacquainted with the facility.  Once I checked in with the show office I had full permission to go anywhere.  After I realized the fun event was the night before and the more interesting events wouldn't begin until later in the afternoon, I made my way to my second assignment.
I headed down the road towards a facility I had never heard of before and found myself in Thompson Station, TN.  This facility is easily the nicest facility I have ever stepped into during my entire career of being around horses.  This barn had the largest stalls I have ever seen.  It also had a gift shop...not even kidding, that is where I had to check in for the day.
I was greeted with great enthusiasm and welcomed.  I conducted my interview with Ralph Hill.  Now, I won't deny I didn't know this gentleman, and ran some questions by him which would give me a basis on his methods.  Apparently since I knew the lingo and must have spoken like I knew what I was talking about (ahhhh...20 years of equestrian experience and my equine science degree is paying off) he connected with me.  This lead to a few extra minutes of his time and what began to seem a bit of mutual respect.
Since I have done jumping myself I understand the travel pattern of jumping.  I also understand very well where that horse will go if things do not go well.  This gave me an advantage of where to stand to obtain the best photos for the day for the article.
I stayed longer than I wanted so I could obtain the photos I was really after - the warm up portion was good, but this was a jumping clinic.  Therefore, I wanted some horses going over those fences. 
After I got what I needed I headed back to the first arena.  I lucked out and the trail class was in progress.  No offense to anyone out there who shows halter horses, but it is about as exciting as watching paint dry.  The trail class was in progress and I was able to get pretty up close and personal to these horses and riders as they competed.  I had seen the practice of the pattern earlier, so I knew which way the horses would be going. 
I got my shots and I wrapped it up for the day.
Once back in Nashville, and back at the house, I felt a need to check my tires.  What a surprise to see my back passenger tire had become so worn down small little meal pieces were beginning to show through.  By the grace of God I had been kept safe so I could get to those arenas and back.  This truly justified that God is at work here making something quiet amazing happen for me with my writing.

Riding arena in Thompson Station, TN

 

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 101...Observation

Recently, I have been fortunate enough to spend some time around a dear friend who is a single Mother.  She has been a trooper and I have seen her go through some serious shit over the past few years.  This woman is also one of my first friends I made here in Nashville.  Spending time with her is always a special moment that I cherish.
While hanging out with her and her 9 year old son, it is fun to hear and watch the interaction.  This woman's Dad has always been very involved in their lives so I have gotten to see 'Grandpa' interact with his grandson.  Grandpa is in the music business and this young boy has recently discovered how much he loves music.  My friend is thrilled and has been enjoying hearing him play music in his lessons.

I sit back and stay out of the way while the family interacts with this sweet boy.  I am always welcomed to participate in the various activities, but I don't want to be in the way of the precious family time.
Plus, as I step back I get to see what I am missing in this world.  I don't see the chance of me ever being a 'Mom' and therefore, the conversations, the discipline, the joys, aches, pains and stress of having a family of my own won't exist. 
I hope those of you who are out there and have the blessing to be parents hug up on those babies of yours.  Not everyone in this world is fortunate or blessed to have kids of their own.  Even if the option came available to me, I have heard once a woman is in her 40's the various issues in development occur-autism, ADD, deformities in the womb.  Life is difficult enough, why put a child through all that as they try to grow and want to be 'normal'.
Regardless, if you are a parent, I hope you find a way to enjoy it.  Give thanks for the blessing and be grateful you have family to raise and share in your life.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On..page 100....A Blessing

This week I went forward and submitted an article idea to a handful of magazines.  The article idea was on Therapy Horses and Military Veterans.  I sent the last one around 1 am and before 8 am I had a response from one of the magazines.
It was rejecting my idea, but stated they may be interested in the article at a later time.  They went on to approach me on being one of their freelance writers.  With their publication there was a position available in Middle Tennessee for someone to travel throughout the state and cover equine events and stories.
I freaked out, I was jumping up and down, I was in awe and giving thanks to the good Lord above.  I have said yes, and as of yesterday I am officially a 'freelance writer' for the Mid-South Horse Review.

I am so excited, as I have been working towards this goal for years.  A lot of people don't even know I wanted to be a writer or pursue that career path.  I pray this is the beginning of a successful career and a more rewarding and peaceful lifestyle.
Praise God!

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 99...Hooked on a Show!I

I am disappointed in myself to say...I am hooked on a show.  This show has been on for years and I have been so glad I have not watched in quite some time.  It is the Bachelor.  Ug!  It is painful for me to admit to it.  Yet, the man is a guy from Iowa and he is a farmer seeking love.  I was hooked just because he was from the Midwest.  Goodness gracious what is wrong with me. 
Yet, this has become my guilty pleasure and I have been watching it on Hulu.  There is just something about the hopes this guy really does find love.  I think another part of it is that it gives me hope that it is okay for me to want love in my life.  This is something I have struggled with for years.  I have felt from different times in my life I am not worthy of it.  I want to be, and I want to have what others have in their lives.  Mostly, I want to be ok with wanting it.  Part of me feels like I should not want it, that I am not good enough for it.  It is a battle I face.  This show I think feeds that "its ok" aspect that resides within me.  If a man can be on camera on a nationally syndicated show and openly say, "I want love" why can't I accept it in my own life?

IF it is possible, if it is ok for me, then I hope whoever that person may be, I hope he is a good person.  I am so tired of letting myself step into a situation of hope and desire to have it turn ugly.  Hopefully I have learned from my past mistakes in life and in relationships and be a better person for the next one.  Time will tell what will all come of my life in the love department.  There is a particular person I am quite curious about and often think about, wonder where things may be going if going at all?
Time will also tell who Mr. Iowa will choose for his bride...stay tuned...hopefully it will be good.  If he truly does desire love, then I hope he is blessed with it in his life, he seems like a nice, kind and genuine person.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 98...Chickies

I haven't mentioned my chickies in a while, so I thought I would touch base on them.  Each day I am blessed to see their cute little feathered faces.  I love that they are so awake when I get out to their coop with their grain, water, straw and treats, that they are squawking and bawking away.  At times when I am not awake enough it gets to be a lot to take in with three or four of them in my face clucking.  Sometimes I make up conversation with them...ok...all the time...alright...every day :)
It is amazing to see such a simple animal be so happy and bring me such joy.  They don't always get along perfectly in their hen house and coop.  But, let's be real, have you ever lived with anyone in close quarters and go along perfectly?  Exactly.

Most days I do get eggs from them, and every time you will hear me thank them.  Now that the grass is getting green I will wander my friends yard and pick a couple of big handfuls for them.  Once they see me picking grass they will chatter and pace their little pen.  They love grass and it is fun to watch them eat it.
I think their favorite treats are pancakes, grapes, bread and French fries.  Oh...and chips, it is pretty cute to watch them dive into a small pile of chips I gathered from a restaurant I went to the night before.
I am forever thankful for these little hens.  They gave me a reason to laugh when I would cry.  They gave me a reason to get out of bed when I had no aspiration to live.  They are sweet, funny and I love them with all of my heart.  I pray to God every day for the opportunity to own my own place where I can set up a nice big coop, with a beautiful hen house and be able to enjoy them when I step outside.  Thankfully, my friend is kind enough to allow me to have them in her backyard.  It doesn't stop me from hoping there will be a day when I am blessed with being able to step out the door and see them like I once did not that long ago.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 97...Simplify

Throughout this writing project I have mentioned how I am trying to simplify my life.  It has me baffled at how much work it has been to wrap up projects, finalize e-mails, finish projects just to clear my plate.  I am overwhelmed in a world where I am already overwhelmed.  I don't know where I can find the energy anymore to push forward.  The desire to have simplicity lingers and I find the strength.

It has been quite a chore going through my things.  This is a task which has been undone for quite sometime and put off because I haven't had the space, the room, the environment or the energy to deal with it.  I don't have a lot of space right now, and while I am not sure how long I will remain in my current location, I want to take advantage of it.  I have a place where I can unload things, sort things, pile things up, feel overwhelmed, cry, sleep, shower, repeat.
It is a long haul and if you have or want to find a way to simplify your life, I won't tell you it is easy.  This has been a lot of work and my only hope is that there will be simplicity at the end of the road.  A quieter, calm, peaceful, cleared out: mentally and physically lifestyle.  If you are on this same path or desire that particular path, be ready to put in some effort.  Don't give up because it is hard or overwhelming.  When I get overwhelmed I do nothing because I don't know what to do.  I am definitely feeling overwhelmed and while giving up and stopping sounds great, it won't progress this project at all.  Then what, remain in this place where I am not content?  Not so much, I need to know if this hard work and stress will pay off.  Time will tell, but at least in the end I should be organized and free of some clutter which has piled up.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 96...Stinky Ass Dogs

Anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE ANIMALS!! I grew up on a farm and for a young girl who loves animals, it was the PERFECT environment!  I knew all the cows names and personalities, all the barn cats had names and would get their dose of love from me, the dog was my best friend.  If you saw her you would find me.  I was so horse crazy I think I could have used therapy.
With that said, for me to complain about an animal at the level I am about to complain, it has to be bad.
I work for a doctor, who is not a vet, and yet we have two cats locked in a janitors closet.  Along with these cats there are dogs, more dogs than any human needs.  There were two dogs, brother and sister, and due to natures habit and the lack of getting them spayed and neutered, we now have puppies. Seven screaming, stinky puppies.  They have gotten quite big and desperately need to go their homes.  Yet, they are still there, in the doctors office and when one wants something, suddenly ALL seven want something.

The stench of seven puppies and adult dog who needs to be bathed and two neglected cats is at times unimaginable.  The pet dander, the odor, the feces, the urine is making my sinuses flair.  I have a cough that I experience when I go to bed at night.  It is small, only a few coughs at a time to settle my lungs I guess, before I can fall asleep.  To help the owner of these animals understand the odor has been a challenge. 
The end of the work day is already welcomed, but knowing I can leave and be free of the stench for at least 12 hours has been bolting for the door.  The ability to breathe in oxygen that isn't riddled with fumes is refreshing.
I can fully understand the term "nose blind" as my sinuses have been burned by ammonia.  At least I can smell.  I often wonder if the owner of these animals cannot quite grasp the level of nasty that office has turned into with those animals around.
This keeps me pushing toward finding another job, so I can relieve my lungs from the fight for clean air.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 95...Taxes

Tax day is coming up.  I am a little anxious as I have not filed yet.  Normally I have this stuff in days after I receive my last form the end of January.  This is the latest I have ever been at turning in my taxes. 
Now I know what many others go through who classically procrastinate doing their taxes.  It turns into this big job that if done over a period of time or earlier is not that (pun not intended) taxing.  Yet, here I am laying awake trying to think whether or not I have everything together.  I know I don't and I don't know where to find what I need.  How has life gotten so complicated and overwhelming that I cannot even get my taxes in on time.

This is a life lesson learned that I already knew - get the taxes in and done early.  I have been hearing this from my Mother, who was the farms accountant, since I was old enough to barely understand the term or aspect of taxes. 
Do yourself and your accountant a favor, get these forms in sometime in February and avoid this entire unnecessary stressful time.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 94...Progress Instead of Perfection

Ever find when you try to do something you HAVE to have it just right?  Ever wonder how much time is wasted from trying to make something into the perfect version?  It causes anxiety in so many people when they strive for that level of perfection.  "I want it to look nice" is what I often hear from someone who is creating their own stress.  There are no words which can help at that point give any reassurance to letting them know it looks great, now step back and enjoy it.
As we create, especially those creative types, perfection is something we strive for and when it is not obtained we identify that flaw immediately.  You could be in a room with 500 people and not one of them will notice that tiny little thing, it is the only thing you see.

Why can't we let it go and just enjoy it?  I am just as guilty of it I am sure.  However, I am glad that when I can see it, I have trained my eye to look away from it.  Maybe step back and take a look at it from another angle.

What is your thing that gets you hung up?  At the end of the day, is it really that big of a deal?  I can almost guarantee it is not.  It is only as big of a monster that we make of it.  The reality of that monster, it lives in our head, not under our bed.  So, sit down with it, and tell it to shut up.  Then go on and enjoy the rest of your life.
Free yourself of that negative talk.  Find a reward in the things you do and create.  After all, it IS meant to be enjoyed, not picked to death.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 93...Roommates

I currently have a roommate and she is a blessing.  I met this woman when I worked for a company here in Nashville, HCA, we were in the same department and sat near one another.  I thought I had seen her drive by me one day and I texted her.  She found out through our conversation I was in need of a place to stay and she kindly opened her home to me.  I was blessed with my own room, a bed and a shower.
18 months have gone by since I have slept in a bed.  There have been times when I have house sat and was able to sleep in a bed for a few days, but that was about it.
Where I have been burned by roommates, beggars cannot be choosers.  This is a situation which seems to be turning out as an incredible blessing.

To live with someone you discover all sorts of things about them.  Their habits, their routine, their behavior and sometimes things just don't mesh or click.  This individual has been kind, loving, and warm with the grace and respect to give me my space.  I am quite independent and having to rely on others is extremely painful for me.  It aches inside me and causes me a deep discomfort. 
For someone who seems to 'get it', has been a big sigh of relief in many ways.  It is hard for me to be coddled by others, "are you okay?" "do you need anything?"
It is hard to say, "I just want to be left alone" when you are in their debt or care.  Sometimes the alternative wasn't that bad just so I could be by myself to have my own space.  This particular arrangement seems to be meeting that desire to be left alone.  I'm not sure how long I will be able to stay, but for now, I feel I can at least breathe. 

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 92...April

It is April. Where is this year going?  We are already four months in, wasn't yesterday January?  I swear I was just starting this blog with this crazy idea of writing a post a day.  Which, has ended up being a bit more challenging than I was expecting.  Having things be unsettled, up rooted, and not quite secure in life has added to this challenge.  When will life ever make sense?  Is that possible?  Are there people out there who are living the dream, with no worries, concerns or thoughts towards how life will get better, because they are already there?
I'm not sure I am in the position to meet those people.  Ha, ha.
Yet, here I am, frustrated knowing a certain someone in my past never even faced a glitch in their life.  They didn't have to worry about such things of trying to find a job, a place to live, shower, a bed, its ridiculous.  Each day when I was at my most hurt, frustrated and pissed, I worked to free all of that to God.  Pass it along to a higher power who is bigger and stronger than me.  It is just really hard to know that individuals life was never affected. 
Don't get me wrong, I was blessed with the awakening even with the struggle I have endured I am 100% better without that person.  I can rejoice in my own happiness instead of being beat down.  I can celebrate that I am healthier emotionally, mentally and physically.  Life is better without a negative force pushing me deeper and deeper into the depth of my own misery.  When I would pop up from the misery and display joy I would be beaten down until I returned to the cellar of unhappiness.

Last year was rough.  I faced a dark place in life that I am not proud of experiencing.  When people find out they are shocked and wonder why I didn't say anything.  One, I am a private person, even by putting this blog out there every single day I love my privacy.  This blog is not always easy to do because it has put me in a place where I am opening up publicly that I'm not always quite ok with, but I take the steps in hopes maybe it will help someone else.  Two, what I went through is not something I am proud of and prefer to keep that to myself.  Three, I wanted to maintain respect towards the other person even though they lacked ALL respect to me.  It kind of says something when not only your friends, Mother, but your lawyer tells you- 'you are being too respectful to him'.  I wanted God to handle it and I did what I could to pass it off to Him.  God can do more than I ever can, and He can do more than any restraining order or police force is able to do.
While I am still recovering, struggling, frustrated at times.  I am thankful I have my chickens, my health and was able to find joy and enjoy the gift of laughter.

LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 91...The Fool of April