Tim, Phillip II and John
I have been finding myself in a couple of interesting conversations with a couple of men from POF. One is Phillip, we are calling him Phillip II due to Mister Memphis. Our conversation so far has been interesting, polite and withholding a level of respect. I was pleasantly surprised when he waited, what I felt, was an appropriate amount of time before texting me yesterday. I'm not sure what I think about him, but so far I am intrigued to get to know this handsome man. Something I find entertaining is he has a dog...that he is absolutely crazy about! Oy! What is with all these people and their dogs! As long as I don't have to clean up after it or sleep with it, I am hoping I can find a way to be tolerable.
While it is cute and adorable that dogs like to sleep in your bed and snuggle, I lose sleep. Any time a dog has had the opportunity to sleep in a bed where I am it always finds its way to my side of the bed. One guy I dated for a long term relationship had a small dog, and it loved me. It loooooved to find its way to my side of the bed and cuddle up. Unfortunately, during this time it would disturb me in my sleep or sleep on me in a way where I couldn't move or get comfortable. I'm glad people enjoy sleeping with their dogs, however, it isn't for me as it effects my sleep. I've always had a natural connection to animals, and I appreciate how they are usually drawn to me. However, when it is 2 am and that connection sets in and I now cannot sleep or sleep well for the next few hours, night after night after night...my appreciation for that 'cuteness' wears thin.
I have also began a conversation with a man named, John. He works in the restaurant business. For the first time EVER in my life, I asked a man out and he said yes! What is happening! John mentioned how he has never been to a particular restaurant I had asked him about as we were discussing new restaurants and trying them out. Then he told me he had never heard of my favorite park here in Davidson County. So, I straight up said I was going to be forward and I asked him out. To my surprise he said 'yes'! Then we got discussing plans and next Monday I have a date. Hopefully all continues to go well and he shows up.
Then...there is Tim. I couldn't help but continue to hear Tim's voice in my head about how he just wanted a FWB relationship. He pushed me really hard to try and convince me I should do that with him. When I realized that three hours had gone by in our first phone conversation, I lost interest. Then he would text me, and I had very little interest to text him back. Finally he was texting me begging for a phone call because he had a revolution and wanted to share it with me. He realized that he wanted to start dating and wanted to date me. I agreed with the intention to go out with him to see what he was all about, however, he got a little over abundant with sending me texts before I even responded. Then, I realized all I could do is hear his voice saying things like, "even if you are tired, just lay there and I will pound ya, I don't care". I don't want someone who I am in a romantic relationship with to voice such things. Maybe men do think in that manner, but I am not interested in being with someone who is so bold with such statements.
Where I don't know where things will lead, I am doing my best to remain open to the idea of this entire process. Hurt and sadness has already been a part of it, which only makes the process all the more difficult and long. However, for the first time in about four weeks I did listen to the radio for a little bit on my way to work on Monday. Then, I realized it was still too much for me and I turned down the volume. Some songs are still too painful to hear and listen to which made me think I am definitely not quite ready to rush into anything. As wonderful as it would be to have a handsome, kind man to cuddle up next to on the couch and use as a pillow in bed, I don't need to rush anything. It is better for me to be single, than it would be for me to get involved with someone who isn't right for me.
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