While this can be a loaded question, I always want an honest answer. More than my share of times I had told myself I looked good or believed someone who was trying to be nice...to later realize I needed to change my clothes.
A few years ago I had found this adorable summer dress at a local shop here in Nashville. I adored it and loved wearing it. I knew I did not look my best in it, but I felt my best. I was in the process of losing weight and this dress was part of my motivation so I could look better in it. My boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend, praise God, as life is much better without this person) told me how I did not look good in the dress and it was not flattering and how it made me look fat. I was so hurt, I had explained to him I knew all of that, but I liked how it made me feel and who cared? I also told him I would never have said anything that hurtful to him. All he could do was reply by saying he was being honest. At the time this occurred we were in couples counseling and I brought this up. I was thankful the therapist agreed that if it was something that made me feel confident, saying something that would bring me down didn't need to be said. The therapist didn't just beat him up for his comment, he found a constructive way to speak to him about the situation.
Now to the present day I am working out trying to lose 30lbs so I can feel better about myself. I have already lost 30lbs and I am thrilled by being able to wear clothes that did not fit for a long time. There are several outfits which will look better once I lose even 15 more pounds. Even with the current weight I have I am happy with myself. I am content with my emotional and most of my physical well being. I am content with who I am, there is always room for improvement and I hope to continue to work on me and grow as a person. Thankfully, I have been maintaining the motivation to workout so I can continue with my fitness goals. I would love to be back at a size 12. I was very athletic at that size and could maintain the energy to do the things I like to do. I was a size 9 once upon a time and I found myself incredibly drained and tired all the time. I didn't have the energy to do much of anything and was always dragging. I was a little better at a size 11, but a size 12 is key for me. I realize many people would call that overweight, and for some it would be. But, I am and will never be a size 6 or smaller and I am very content with that for myself.
We all have to find that thing in our life which brings us joy and contentment. Pushing ourselves to be a smaller size than we need to be is not a healthy way to live. Those models in magazines and runway shows are not "average" they are extremely below average. There is an industry standard for these women to be a size 0-2 and if you are not, you won't fit into the clothes. That does not mean we as non-models of the world need to strive for how they look, seek that within. Seek for how YOU should look, and not how that other person should look. There will always be someone prettier, thinner, taller, shorter, bigger breasts, smaller butt, however, you need to find what suits YOU. You deserve to have peace with how you are as a person. That way, when you look into the mirror and ask yourself, "how do I look"? You can smile and say, "I look good and I am happy with who I am as a person". If you can't do that then seek the change which will bring you joy and peace to your life.
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