LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 45...Gypsy Cowgirl

There is a gypsy which resides within me.  She loves to get up and follow the wind and chase the sun.  While I did not like my work while at HCA the quarterly bonuses which I would receive would allow me to afford to pack a bag and hit the road.  It was not uncommon for me to take on the coast and sit by the ocean for hours.  Maybe drive out of town on a Friday to East Tennessee to stay with a friend in Bristol or find various places to go hiking. 
Life has made a few changes and those trips do not happen as often as they once did, and my gypsy spirit is feeling an ache to travel.  I have been struggling with this ache and it is really affecting a lot of what I do.  I have noticed a lack of interest to push myself towards the goals my heart desires.  A part of me really longs to hit the highway and just take off.  It has been a long time since I have gone out and explored.  While I love caving and getting out and checking out the world underground, hit the occasional hiking trail, my gypsy spirit is wanting so much more.

Kenny Chesney has a song that has been getting played on the radio called, "Wild Child".  This song resonated to my heart of my soul and spirit so deeply that I cried listening to the lyrics.  "Got a spirit that can't be tamed. She's a calico pony on an open plain...a rebel soul and a whole lot of gypsy, wild style, she can't be tied down, but for a while...be falling free and so alive...she drives me...Wild Child..." 
Part of me needs to travel, part of me needs to get away and escape.  I think if a truck driver came along and offered for me to get into his rig and take off...I would leave with him.  I am sick of my living arrangements and tired of my job.  A change needs to take place or I am going to make a change take place.  The unknown has been wearing me out, the constant struggle I've been facing is wearing me thin.  It brings a new level of concern and fear within me.  I don't want to give up and I most certainly do not want to fail.  I'm at a cross roads.  Part of me wants to get to the level of success where I hope things can slow down and be more simple.  Or do I take the steps to simplify now.  The secondary one makes me extremely disappointed in myself to stop trying after all the time, effort and money I have already put into my dreams and goals.

Until I can find a that place in life to make the decision of where I am meant to go, I push onward.  Every passing day I hope to find a way to take off and run away.  Ideally I would like to run away for a month so I could fully decompress.  Unfortunately that would not be something I could do at this time, but if I could get away for a  week would be a good start for me. 

I hope that this path I am on begins to make sense to me and show me what is waiting ahead.  This journey has been long and far from over, but hopefully it will start showing me the way.