LaCresha's Lens: LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 33...From Horses to Cameras

Writing and photography are my passion. For many years I was blessed with the opportunity to run a successful freelance horse training business. During this time I trained horses from young colts, barrel horses, dressage horses, show, trail horses. I loved this career and I was blessed with a two year waiting list while I was training. Majority of the time I trained horses I was in Wisconsin. My last training years were in Memphis, TN. Once I moved to Nashville I searched for a barn to train horses and teach riding lessons. Unfortunately, majority of the barns in Middle-TN are Walking Horse barns. While there is nothing wrong with Walking Horses, I do not necessarily agree with their training practices. As I had worked extremely hard to train the Tom Dorrance/Ray Hunt method (which unfortunately has been named the "horse whisperer" method-which it is not). We do not 'whisper' to these animals, we are speaking loud and clear in their language. You develop respect along with an understanding of one another and create a bond which is priceless.
One aspect of training horses I had struggled with was the disheartening level of abuse which takes place. I had gotten into my share of disagreements and occasional arguments speaking my mind about pushing the line of discipline into abuse with riders and owners. Yet, my reputation stood strong, and I was blessed with great clients and horses.
I loved the empowering aspect of training a horse. I felt empowered to have a working relationship with this powerful animal. I felt the energy of the empowerment of the horse as it would gain confidence in itself and its abilities. It was a partnership and sitting on back of a horse after it finished a solid routine, a hind quarter turn, sliding stop or the balance of a lead change, was rewarding.

Yet, there came a day I hung up my saddle and stepped away from training and officially retired. As a horse trainer I would get requested to photograph my clients horses. I had a client who owned their own photography business. They helped me learn a lot about a camera and how to take a good shot. While training their mare I was given the opportunity to photograph a wedding and my camera was not working correctly. They were incredibly kind and let me borrow their gear. It was this time when my heart began to truly take notice its interest in photography.
I have been taking pictures since I was a child. I loved it and couldn't get enough of it. I remember when my Dad called me out to the drive way from the house asking me to bring his camera. He asked me if I would take a photo of this particular tree. The way the branches intertwined it looked like a moose head, it was really interesting. When I asked him why he wanted me to take the photo instead of him he replied, "because you can take it in a manner where it will turn out and look right". From that moment on I began to take my interest in photography more seriously.
At my four year college, UW-River Falls, they had a journalism degree. I was absolutely fascinated and intrigued. I could take writing and photography classes. While going through the large book of courses I would read over these courses and dream of taking these classes. Yet, it didn't fit into my advisors plan for me to finish my theatre degree.
I already did not meet the "norm" in the Theatre Department. I walked in wanting Major in Theatre and a Minor in Equine Science. The goal was to train horses for film. I felt it was the perfect blend of the things I loved to do, ride horses and be involved in theatre. While in college I would get asked to photograph the rodeo events, theatre and dance rehearsals. Once again, photography was easing its way into my sites.
Once out of college I continued to train horses, taking an occasional break from it. However, it was what I knew and loved and would find my way back to it over and over again. Finally, one day while much time of debate of leaving the industry I was training a mare who the owners wanted to have as a harness horse. She was quite rank and had not been handled in quite some time. Putting her through the paces she was progressing, but still had spunk in her. She began to pull and jerk on me. If I had not been through this before she could have been able to drag me all over the arena. Yet, we were working through it and she was starting to slowly come around. It was during these yanks I felt the movement in my wrist. I could feel separation occurring in the tendons and bones in my wrist. After 15 years of training horses my body was starting to really show the after effects of years of being pulled and pushed on. Along with endless years on the farm working dairy cows, unloading hay, hooking up wagons, pulling on wagons to get them to line up to the hitch on the tractor. There were also those two-three years as a waitress carrying heavy trays loaded up with plates and bar glasses.
Going home after that training session I had hard decisions to make and a long discussion I had to have with myself. Do I continue to train horses and let my body continue to take the beating? Or do I let myself walk away from something which resides deep within my heart and passion? Training and riding horses was something I had wanted to do since I was three years old. If I walked away at least I could hold my head up high knowing I made the difference in the lives of the horses I trained. There was a pride that my reputation had gotten around which allowed me to have a two year waiting list. It also gave me great pride when after I had moved from Wisconsin and word would get out I was in the area. People would call asking me to train their horse. Offers to have them hauled to where ever it was I lived would come across the phone line. While it was flattering, it was hard to say no to doing something I loved so much.
However, there has been this pull towards photography since I was very young. As I look over my life I see how photography has circled back to me time and time again. It has not been uncommon in the positions I have held where photography has found its way into the mix.
When I moved to the south from Wisconsin in 2004 I had a plan to start my own photography business. Owning my own business is something I have wanted to do since I was old enough to understand the partial concept of being your own boss. I figured it I liked doing photography full time even just a little bit, I would do it. Photography has been this lurking passion within me. It is challenging, exciting, intriguing and so much fun!
Yet, with that "fun" comes the work. I have put in endless hours learning the technology of gear, equipment, cameras to have the knowledge necessary to be better at photography. I have taken courses, attended workshops along with read magazines and books on photography: posing, styling, alignment, the rules, how to break the rules, etc, so I can be educated in my field. Beyond that I have been on photo outings, coordinated photography outings, coordinated studio workshops, and photographed in many studios on locations in Middle-TN. If I may confess, I feel guilty. There is a great guilt that resides in me that I am doing something I love so much. How can this be work when it is so much fun and feeds my heart and soul so deeply?
The same can be said about writing. Once in a while I will put off writing something because I feel this twinge of guilt I should not enjoy it, it should be work. Then there are the times I can sit at my laptop for seven hours while working on my book. It isn't uncommon for me to put in a full eight hour day on my photography and realize I never got up to eat.

This road that I have traveled has been long. There have been twists, turns, cliffs, downward spirals, long uphill climbs, and yet I am still here. The offer to go ride horses comes along every once in a while. This offer continues to be declined as I need to focus my energy on my business, my life goals. The goal of the dream where I can wake up in the morning and call myself a photographer, a writer. My desire is to be able to live where ever it is I want, and travel for my career. It would be a blessing to be in a position where my profession allows me to travel the country and hopefully one day, the world.
My goals are daunting. It is said, "dream so big it scares you". If that is the case, then I am right on track because my dreams and goals scare the hell out of me. There are times I wonder if I have taken on too much. Maybe what I am after is unrealistic, maybe, maybe, maybe...those moments of doubt. But, I am in too deep, the ball is in motion and it is time for me to keep pushing, keep working as I believe anything with hard work is possible.

What is your journey? What is your path? What does your heart desire? If you truly believe it is possible, I believe you have the ability to make it happen. My very dear friend, Shari, gave me the best advice while she was in Colorado living her dream in the midst of her ceramic artist career.
"You have to believe in yourself, because no one else will". This has resonated with me since that very moment we were on the phone. I was struggling with the concept of trying to start the path as a photographer. I didn't believe in myself and was struggling with my confidence. While I am still human and still battle that voice in my head, there is a level of determination which helps me get through.
With all I have endured, the pain, the heartache, the fear, I refuse to be put into a position of weakness ever again. This is my strength. I feed on it every day seeking those moments of motivation to push me forward. That motivation develops into determination which keeps me working after my day job. You can often find me working on my business or writing until 1 or 2 in the morning. The next day I am up before 7 am getting myself situated to start working on it again. I won't deny there are times I want to quit. There are times I am exhausted and cannot keep a straight thought in my head. However, when I look around and see my life is not where I want it to be, I keep hustling, pushing, moving forward. Through this process I give thanks, as I believe the blessing of my dreams becoming a reality are possible. Until then, I continue to work and continue to try to make a difference in my life.