LaCresha's Lens Focuses On...page 183...A Thursday Night

Tonight is the Thursday before the 4th of July.  For many it is the last day of the work week.  Whereas I do freelance writing now, along with my photography, weekends don't really exist.  Which honestly, is fine anymore.  I am trying to catch up financially so going out is not a part of my budget.  Where some would find spending an evening alone something unbearable or lonely, I don't mind it.
After my meal of leftover salad from lunch, I ripped opened a couple snacks to enjoy with my beer.  I don't know why I like chocolate with beer, for many it is unappetizing, yet I really enjoy it.
While sitting here eating my dessert, I find myself a little sad.  There is someone who I miss greatly, and I feel I am not allowed to miss this person.
I also feel sad because my life is so far away from where I want it to be.  All of me wonders what waits ahead and if what I want is even possible.  Where I try not to think about this too much as it just brings me down, the thought continues to linger.  Nashville is growing at a ridiculous rate.  A recent statistic has stated 1,000 a month are moving here.  Rent here has doubled and in some areas tripled.  I am blessed with an incredible roommate, and I a grateful to have a safe and comfortable living situation.  Where I reside is in a part of town where I didn't necessarily wanted to live, but it has worked out for the best.  Driving in for work has gotten me into thick rush hour traffic, every day.  I have been blessed with the most incredible job with the most amazing company I have ever worked for in my life.  What will I do if the day ever comes when I leave Nashville?  From its increasing growth, with no signs of stopping, it is getting too much for me.  I can tolerate it, but this isn't forever for me.  I don't know what I will do because I have found myself in the larger cities so I can find work.  Now I have found work which is allowing me to live in a manner which I desire.  Yet, what will I do if I decide to leave?  How can I find another job like this one?  It adds on to the stress and sadness.  Until the day comes when I really need to worry about this I just push the thoughts from my mind and try to power through.
Today is just a day in the beginning of what I hope will lead me to what will be.  Unfortunately, I do not know what will be, or if what I want so badly in my heart will ever happen.
Interestingly enough, I had three big signs yesterday and two today.  I don't know if I am reading them correctly.  Is what I saw, right in front of me, signs from God?  Did I read it incorrectly?  It seemed so clear...once again, time will tell.